"CRYING FOR HER FATHER'S LOVE"

I never thought it would come to this standing here, heart, heavy, spilling secrets I swore I'd take to my grave. But how can I stay silent when the weight of these unspoken words is suffocating me?

Dad, you were supposed to be my hero. The one who’d chase away the monsters under my bed, who’d hold my hand and make me feel safe. But where were you? Each birthday, each recital, each heartbreak you were just a shadow, a ghost in the background of my life.

I watched other kids with their Dads, laughing, playing, learning to ride a bike, and wondered what was wrong with me. Why didn’t I deserve that? The emptiness you left became avoid I tried to fill with anything that would numb the pain, bad
relationships, reckless decisions, anything if I were better, smarter, more lovable, maybe you’d come around. But the truth is, it’s not my fault. I realize now that your absence was never a reflection of my worth, but it’s taken me years to understand that.

Every time I saw you, it was like looking at a stranger.  The man who was supposed to teach me what love looks like, what respect feels like, couldn’t even look me in the eyes. Do you know what that does to a child? To grow up feeling invisible to the one person who should see you the most.

I’m standing here, a patchwork of scars and resilience, trying to piece together the parts of me you left shattered. I’m learning to be my own here, to love myself in the ways you never did. It’s hard and some days I falter, but I’m stronger than you ever gave me credit for.

So here’s to the little girl who deserved so much more and to the woman she’s becoming despite it all. I’m done carrying the burden of your absence. It’s your loss Dad, not mine. I’m reclaiming my worth, my voice, my life. And I hope, wherever you are, you realize what you missed.